Feminism in the Sex Trade and How I Tend to Call out Sexist Bullshit

Hi all,

It has been a while since I last wrote, or a longer time and for that I apologize. I know that for everyone this is a busy time of year.

I was inspired to write about feminism(s) in the sex trade, being PC (and not) and being understood (and not). I have an annoying (to some folk) habit of calling out blatant sexism, mostly in words, wherever I see it. That's part of the job of being a good feminist to me. Some girls, I understand, use words for their shock value. They and their vocabulary are not necessarily PC, and that's OK. But because I didn't get something, it ended up being much bigger than it originally was.

I saw something on Twitter that went like this: "Whores are just sluts who decided to put a price on it and sluts are just women who knew what they wanted and went after it." (all credit @Isyscupids).

Now any informed intersectional feminist (the wave of feminism I endorse) could see that there were a number of words that might and should be called out, which I proceeded to do, not realizing that that was the point of the tweet, I had just made a gaffe.The point that Isys is making is that we can control words, words do not have to control us. However, put up your hand, ladies, if you have ever been called a slut or a whore in earnest. I believe that this language deserves to be called out not because I don't like those words - it makes no difference. Surely Isys knows how to run her own business. I wouldn't use those words, but imagine if the whole world could only use my vocabulary or the words I was comfortable using! I wouldn't be writing this right now, and many of us would have much less to think about. No, I failed to "get" the joke.

But here's the problem: I take sexism very seriously in the sex trade. I do understand that we operate in a world of patriarchal society, that would easily call women cunts behind their backs. I am very sensitive to sexism in the workplace, I don't care where you work. I understand that while we sexworkers open up to being called objects, and sexual beings, I Some women are very chill about using popularly offensive language in solidarity with each other. That's cool too.

In a world of oppressed, marginalized communities, it is often necessarily to use oppressive language to hit back at the original oppressor. And that doesn't mean we all need to have the same feminisms. But God forbid someone misunderstand a tweet because they have different, hurtful experiences with those words.

Food for thought. I don't pretend to have any of the answers. I don't pretend to know how to be more clear. But let's seriously try. Because unless we understand each other, and build each other up, we will tear each other down in confusion. This work, speaking personally from an indie point of view, is isolating enough as it is. Let's not make it more so.

Xoxo,

Olivia